I recently read the Life Changing Magic of Not Giving A F**k and at each stage I basically went, 'uhuh, yeah, done that.'
And once I closed that book I realised, not everyone has done that. Not everyone instantly laughs when they receive a wedding invite where the venue is over 300 miles away, subsequently filing that invite... in the bin. Not everyone feels they can say no to their In Laws when they're invited to 'come along all inclusive to a really nice hotel in Greece' (and that's without mentioning it's nearly a grand each for ten days and you're saving for a mortgage deposit). Not everyone realises how much choice they have.
And it is a choice.
My Ma used to text me constantly, but despite feeling a bit guilty about not texting her back all the time, I just ignored a few and she got the gist - that I a) work and b) have a domestic life full of chores and c) need to sleep - she now only texts me every week or so and sometimes she doesn't even text me back when I begin the texting.
We were invited to a wedding in Cornwall last year. I said no. My MIL went a little crazy because I said no immediately without giving it a chance. I did this for only two reasons: 1. I've met the couple twice and they're nice enough, but I, personally, wouldn't ruin their wedding ceremony by not turning up, 2. I live in the North and Cornwall is in the South - that means I have to pay for fuel and hotel costs... on top of taking two days holiday from work. I think those two reasons work in perfect harmony together. So I worked that weekend, earned some money, conserved my holiday days and my MIL didn't even get a Thank You card for attending.
A few years ago I was offered a promotion. In my position I believe a lot of people would have taken it with both hands and stumbled through what was expected of them. I said no. I know me and I didn't want it. I wasn't ready. I was told that it would hinder me in the future, but here I am, fully prepared and now ready to snag the next promotion over my unskilled competition.
That might sound like not giving a f**k is about saying no, but it's more about prioritising.
Those holiday days I saved from not going to the wedding, I used to go vacation with the MIL over New Year in the Dales. It was closer to home and way more enjoyable than a formal black tie wedding any day (my MIL got completely wasted, hilar!). So although you're taking away with one hand, you're also giving a lot back with the other.
I spend the majority of my days doing things that I've chosen to to do rather than doing what I think I should be doing. And that's the key. Basically f**k everyone else. As long as it's legal and isn't harming anyone else then do whatever it is you want to do. It might seem backward, but I like putting money aside each month to pay the gas and electric bills because I really f**king love coming home to a super warm house on an evening so my heating is on 24/7. Do I wish it was cheaper? certainly. But, I can't really do much more than shop about for the best deal - and I've done that - so it's not something I have any control over.
The choice is yours, my friends, to either open your eyes and hearts and start doing what you want to do, or continue living in the shackles of our society (or most probably, your Mother In Law).
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