Monday, 25 May 2015

LIFE: On being told you're wrong

I had my appraisal last month. I was dreading it. The managers and I have not been seeing eye-to-eye on several matters for months now, and I knew that this sit down would be pretty dire at best.

It was. But not for the reason I thought it would be.

See, I'd been trying to keep my head down and out of their gaze for a few weeks. Getting things ticked off the lists of Things To Do everyday. Making sure that those things were done to the best standards. No minute details missed. I'd won a couple staff incentives. I thought I was doing pretty well.

But, apparently, actually doing work isn't what going to work is about.


I was told "You will not get promotion if you keep on doing work." Those quote marks are exact. Come again? Sorry, not sorry for getting shit done.

At first I was put out. Then I was angry. Then I was resolute.

They told me that I should change and be more like them - taking a step back from face-to-face service, delegating more, stood back, not really doing anything, but watching other people to see if they mess up. In my mind, that's being a minus 1 to the team.

I manage people in my own way. Apparently the wrong way. The way that means I work alongside people to coach them to do the best, to get the job done quickly and efficiently, to make my staff feel involved and valued. I work in the way that I would want every person who works with me to work. To be a plus 1. A zero would be okay, but a minus 1 is just nuh-uh.

"I will never do that. I will never be that person." I told them. And their mouths dropped.

I think they thought that I'd roll over for this promotion. But I won't. I'll fight. Because I'm right. Not wrong.

The feedback I get from others about me is positive, and at worst neutral. I pull my weight. I listen to other people. I help other people. I sort out problems by giving people a chance to say 'Uh, yeah that was me, sorry, I kinda did this... blah blah blah' because I know that the majority of people will never mess up again to avoid disappointing themselves or me. I want people to want to work with me, for me and around me.

And no-one inspires by being the bystander. No-one aims to be that person.

I will never be a bystander.

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